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Brief Intro

QUICK BRIEF. I’m 49yo bisexual but no one knows. I’m married. I have ADHD. I was sexually abused as a child, I’m hypersexual. I’ve struggled with addictions & drug abuse. I'm attracted to Cock not men. This is my share my mind.

Mr Mushroom

 

Mr Mushroom

 

When i was 12yo I used to go around my neighbourhood knocking on doors offering to wash people’s cars or mow their lawns for cash. This one guy paid me $5 to wash his car which was pretty good in back in 1988.

So of course, I went back a week or so later hoping to make another quick 5 quid. He was like yeah sure, of course you can, how about I give you $10, and you give me a hand with some stuff I need to do in the shed after you wash the car? Now I’m thinking $10 is better than $5 & being a naive 12yo why the hell would I turn it down. So I washed the car and helped him in the shed, he asked me questions about my life and he found out things like my age where I lived and that I only live with my mum and sister, we talked about things I like to do, like riding my BMX & building things and that I was currently building a billycart. Oh really, he said, well if you need to borrow some tools or would like some help, you’re welcome bring it here and use the shed.

I don’t remember if it was the next weekend or a few weeks later, (but knowing me it was most likely the next weekend) I took the billycart around to get some help to finish it. I wasn’t aware to begin with but every now and again he would brush his hand across my crotch or position himself so my hand would rub past his dick, or he’d get behind me slightly pushing or rubbing his crotch against my ass.

Now this was obviously turning him on, but I was totally oblivious to what was going on, until he got an erection. He rubbed it past my hand, and I noticed my hand touched something, but kind of dismissed it. But I think at the same time my instinct or something switched on. like I became aware that, that probably wasn’t right. I remember I was standing on a little step thing that helped me be a better height to use the vise on the work bench. He stood behind me “to help” and press his penis against my ass, slightly moving around. I could feel his dick was hard.

I felt very uncomfortable and kind of a bit scare. Which was clearly my instincts screaming at me that this was wrong. But seeing I was only 12yo I really wasn’t sure what I was feeling. So, I ignored it, because I wanted to build the billy cart. I don’t remember how much longer it took to finish the cart that day, but we did. But that’s just the beginning.

It must have been a Sunday, because he convinced me to come around before school the next day to help him with some massage practice for $50. I don’t remember the story he told me, but it was some kind of bullshit about massage training for kids or something like that. Whatever it was clearly I believed him. Plus let’s be real $50 back then was like $200 to a kid.

Anyway, I rocked up at like 7:30 in the morning, I remember he had a blue collared shirt on and dark dress pants. He invited me in; we went to the lounge room and sat on the couch. Again, I remember the conversation details, but I ended up lying face down on the floor and he was on his knees beside me rubbing my back and shoulders and buttcheeks. After a few minutes he put his leg over me and straddled my ass, he kept massaging my back and shoulders but now he was rubbing his cock on my ass crack.

I could feel his dick getting hard, but to be honest I hadn’t hit puberty yet so I haven’t played with my dick yet, so I had no idea about wanking or that dicks were used for anything else except having a wee. Anyway, somehow, he convinced me to watch him masturbate. I remember sitting on the floor watching him play with his cock, absolutely fascinated. 

His dick was only like 4 and a half to 5 inches long with this amazing shiny purple mushroom head, I can still see it. I was mesmerised, I couldn’t take my eyes of this amazing shiny purple mushroom that started to leak some sort of clear liquid, which when he would rub it around on his big purple knob, it seemed to make it better for him, like I could see or sense his enjoyment level rising when he did. He gave me some kind of warning that stuff was going to spurt out the end of his dick soon, and boy did it! this white gooey liquid shot out of his cock and not just once or twice but 3 or 4 times, it was like a fucking water pistol! What the actual fuck just happened! What was that! What did I just see? He let go of his purple gun and I saw his dick throbbing like it was trying to pump out more of that stuff. It was the strangest most confusing yet interesting thing I’d ever seen.

I kind of knew or felt that what just happened was wrong, now I don’t mean seeing masturbation or a dick cum for the first time, I mean the part where I was pretty much in a sexually abusive situation right there. But I was a gullible 12yo boy with no father figure. How was I to know how good or bad this was. So he cleaned himself up and gave me the $50 and went to school. Was that the end you ask? No, that was a pretty easy 50 bucks?

So a week later and no money left, here I am, unannounced, 7:30 in the morning knocking on Mr Purple Mushrooms door. When he answered the door I said can I do anything for another $50. Yeah, maybe he said, come in. We went inside to the lounge room and sat down, he told me how helpful It was for his massage stuff the last time I was there and if he could just practice massaging this time, he would give me another $50. Of course I agreed, I mean that’s why I was there right? So again, there I was face down on the floor in my undies, but this time he was in his undies too, same back and shoulders rub, but this time he maneuverer my undies down and was giving my ass cheeks a rub and squeezing them in a way to pull them apart.

I was uncomfortable with what was happening as it was more groppey this time. He had straddled me from the start. He ran his hands up my back to my shoulders then all the way down to my ass cheeks and gently squeeze them moving in a circular motion so they would spread apart, up to my shoulders then down again. 

He must have popped his cock out the side of his undies because when he moved up I felt his raw cock rest between my parted ass cheeks.


He kept massaging and moving his cock between my cheeks. I could feel it growing harder.  After a few minutes it was solid, I felt him hop off me,I looked over my shoulder and saw he was getting up. I rolled over and sat up on my knees, he had taken his undies off and stood there with his stiff dick hovering above my face

He was gently squeezing & pulling at his balls which made his magic mushroom move up and down. 

 

A glistening pearl of pre-cum was forming on the eye of his cock. As it got bigger, I thought it was going to drop on the floor, but it just hung there about an inch long, clinging on to the tip of his shiny mushroom. I was astounded. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing I had no idea a dick could do that! He asked me if I wanted to touch it and assured me that it was okay if I did, but I was speechless. I just shook my head no, absolutely mesmerised by his meat right there in front of my face. 

He sat down on the couch with his legs spread wide and stroked his cock, coatings it in his dripping juice. 

I could tell he was enjoying this even more than last time. He touched it differently than last time, not just wanking it but holding his balls I one hand, forcing the skin on his cock to be tight. I couldn’t see the whole length of his rod and the full shape of his swollen mushroom head, it was so shiny. For a while he gently ran his fingers up and down his shaft and over his knob, collecting his gooey lube as he passed the tip and rubbing it over his member. I was Captivated by his cock. It’s going to happen again, he said, it’s going to spurt! Like it was a really rare occurrence. Hypnotised, I didn’t want to miss it. I wanted to see him cum again. I wanted to see the magic goo exploding out of him again. he gave it a few really fast strokes, Here It comes he said, here it comes, Still holding onto his ball he stopped stroking his cock, took his hand off his throbbing shiny purple mushroom, it was pointing straight at me. 

Ughhh!! he groaned, at the same time a hot stream of this bizarre magic goo shot out and hit me on my chest. 

I couldn’t believe how warm it was, then another squirt landed on my leg, he let go of his balls, his dick stood straight up to his belly, throbbing and pulsing, pumping out more cum that dribbled down his shaft to his large ball sack. This thing was bouncing up and down from excitement, he put his hand back around his cum soaked shaft and stroked it some more, I still remember the squelching sound of all that cum as his hand glided up and down over his purple head, I watched his cock soften and shrink down in size. He got up, told me to wait there and left the room. He came back with a tea towel for me to wipe his jis off my leg and chest and handed me a $50 note. As I got dressed he thanked me a told me some crap about how great I was and it was amazing to make something so special like that happen and that nobody should know about it. He showed me to the front door and I went off to school with a bunch of cash and mixed feelings. 

 

The last visit. 

I make this quick. Because it was pretty quick. So one morning I used my last $20 from my jis journey and bought a Rambo knife of a mate, I was pretty excited about it but I was also now out of cash, so yep, you guessed it I went straight to see Mr Mushroom. But this time I had a plan. I was only going to let him massage my back and shoulders and that’s it. No cock watching, no ass rub. Just a massage. After all I had a big fuck off knife right! He invited me in. We sat down and I showed him the cool knife I just bought and how you could unscrew the compass on the end of the handle and sore things in the handle, things like matches and a bit of fishing line, you know survival stuff. I told him I only wanted a massage nothing more, which he agreed to. I took off my shirt and laid down. My hand was on the knife on the floor, with my arm folded in front of me using them as a pillow for my head He knelt down beside me and started rubbing my shoulders and massaging my back. After about a minute, I felt him try to push my pants down a bit then a few seconds later it happened again. That was it, I rolled over and sat up holding the knife pointing at him and said, don’t try anything or I’ll use this fucking knife. He put his hands up and was like woah woah ok ok, then said something like, i think you might be confused, I was just trying to be nice, I think you should just go now. So I did. That was it, I left that day with no money and that was the last time I saw Mr Shiny Purple Mushroom Head. 


Bisexual Frustration

 

Bisexual Frustration




It’s so frustrating desperately wanting to suck cocks but not being attracted to men.

I wish I could look at a guy at work or in the supermarket or at the pub and be like mmm he’s hot, I’d love to suck his cock! Or, oh yeah, I’d love to have his cock in my ass. But I don’t. In fact, it’s kind of the opposite. 

When I look at a guy, I’m like nope! Because there’s nothing, no attraction, nothing makes me feel anything sexual. Nothing about them makes me feel sexually turned on.

Like, I’m not attracted to men in any way. In fact, the thought of kissing another man grosses me out big time, so it’s like, I’m actually turned off, I literally look at a men’s faces in public and think, nah I couldn’t go there.

Which frustrates the fuck out of me because I do want to go there! I do want their cock! So, I desperately wish I was attracted to men, because I think that would help me, and help make more sense about my obsession for cock.

The worst part is I don’t want to be with gay guys or feminine guys; I want them to be straight acting like me. For example, if we were having dinner somewhere or drinks at a pub, it would just look like 2 mates hanging out, like no one would look twice.

But with saying that, how the fuck do you know if a straight acting guy like me enjoys a bit of cock play with another guy? For instance, say I start talking to a bisexual tradie on the job site, but you can’t tell he’s Bisexual, how the fuck do you find out without straight out asking and then having the risk of looking like you’re gay? (not that I care if people are gay) but in the world of manly tradesman that I work in, that’s not a risk I can take.

I wish bi guys & bi curious guys could just look at each other and know they both like a bit of cock. Maybe then I might see those men differently if I know they like cock, maybe I would feel some sort of sexual attraction because we would have that secret connection knowing we are the same, and could be like, hey, wanna play with each other’s cock. But unfortunately, that’s not gonna happen, is it?

Now! Here’s where everything changes. 

If men are naked, and I could see their cock, that’s a whole different story. It’s like everything that turns me off about men (except for the kissing part) disappears, and all I see is a hot cock I can play with, (jerk, suck, fuck) and I am sexually turned on. Like intensely. It’s like there body becomes attractive, even sexy, or hot, and somehow their face isn’t a turn off anymore either and I want them, I want to touch them. I want the whole package!

It’s like what the fuck!

How fucked up is that?

How the fuck does that work?

What the fuck am I supposed to do with that mind bending shit?

How the fuck am I supposed to deal with that?

So big and juicy

 

So big and juicy

His cock looked so big and juicy

How could I resist

I wrapped my fingers round his shaft And pumped it in my fist

His swollen head the glistening eye

Beckoning my lips

I got down on my knees 

And gave some gentle licks

From the base of his cock

Right up to the tip

Then in my mouth as I suck 

His thrusting with his hips

Feel his balls start to rise

The sounds of slurps and sips

His throbbing cock taste so good

As I swallow all his jis. 

Another Me

Another Me

I wish I could find another me! 


Another guy who’s mid to late 40s married & bisexual like me. Who’s a straight acting tradie type like me & wants a mate to hang out with, go camping with, go to concerts with & sometimes do sexual things with like me. 

Another guy that likes metal music like Slipknot, Pantera, Falling in Reverse & Others shit like Insane Clown Posse, Grand Daddy, Faith No More, Primus, Alice In Chains, Ministry, Kim Dracula, Korn even stuff like Butterfingers, Tzu, Hilltop Hoods & Fisher, Skrillex, even techno type music. But mainly metal.

Who enjoys doing the same things as me. Both generally and sexually. Who has a similar manscaped 6in cut cock like me,) but maybe a little bit bigger than mine). A non-hairy guy like me. Who fantasies about similar & twisted things like me. Like being in a room full of naked guys jerking, sucking & fucking their cocks & watching them cum or having 2 cocks in your ass at the same time, or freaky shit like jerking off an actual horses' cock. Who would let a dog fuck him in the ass like me. A guy who’s hypersexual like me. Who's borderline addicted to masturbation like me. Who loves watching porn like me & wants to use/try all different sex toys like me. Who's has a filthy twisted mind like me.

Who loves cocks the same as me, is fascinated with them like me, who loves looking at dick pics like me & wants to play them constantly like me. A guy who loves watching them leaking & cumming like me and loves sucking them like me. But who’s not attracted to men, just attracted to cock like me.

Who thinks Shemales are hot like me.  Because they look like women but have a cock. Who feels sexy wearing G-strings & miniskirts or sexy underwear like me. Who wants for the same things as me, like wishing they were brave enough to wear eye makeup & black nail polish in public like I want to or wanting to be open about their sexuality like I want to.

A guy who has pierced sensitive horny nipples like me. Who loves having them pinched and pulled on like me. Another me that loves a meaty pussy. A PAWG lover like me. A huge pervert like me. Who wants to party, drink beers, take ecstasy or smoke weed & listen to music like me.

Another me who loves being naked, who'd go to the nude beach, sun bake naked & be a nudist & go camping at nudist camps like me.

Another me to both be open with & talk about absolutely anything with, knowing there will never be any judgement about our thoughts & feelings or desires no matter how bad you think they may seem. Another me who understands me & just gets me.

I wish I could find another Me!

Meaty lips

 

Meaty lips (poem)

I love a meaty pussy

A set of saggy flaps 

I want to peel them open 

Pulling them right back 

I like the lips that dangle

and hang there in the breeze 

Juicy meaty vulvar

I love to suck and squeeze 

Pull and tug stretch them down 

Get them hanging low

Rub them all over my cock

Until I blow my load 

Nipple Tugging/Puller Device

 

NTPD - Nipple Tugging/Puller Device

 


When I was 18 I got my right nipple pierced and it was the best thing I ever did.

I quickly learnt about the amazing sexual pleasure that could come from nipple stimulation, it was like there was a direct connection from nipple to penis. It was like I had a button to give me an erection. If you played with my nipple piercing, I couldn’t resist, I was yours!

As good as this was and as amazing the feeling was when my nipples were tickled touched and gently pinched, I still had no idea that pain could also be pleasure. The older I got the more I would ask for my nipples to be pinched during sex right before I was about to cum but not to hard just enough to give slight pain but sometimes harder than before, bringing my orgasm to a new level I haven’t felt before.

I like the fact that because I only had the one piercing, as each nipple had a different feeling and gave a different kind of pleasure than the other.

Fast forward 30 years and I decided to get my left nipple pierced as well. Second best thing I’ve done. I’m almost obsessed with my nipples now. I want to touch them all the time, pinching tugging & twisting them, pressing my finger down on them and rotating in circular motion, flicking the tip of them. Just thinking about it gets my cock hard and leaking pre cum.

There was always one problem. I couldn’t play with both my nipples and jerk off at the same time. Then one day I was in one of those $2 shops just looking around, when I saw some key ring clips and some choker chains for dogs and it hit me! What if I attached the key ring clips to each end of the chain then connect the clip to my nipple rings? That way I could pull on the chain with one hand and to stimulate both nipples at once while I jerk off with the other hand.

So of course I bought them. 4 clips and a couple of each different size chains just in case. I must say I was excited at the thought of this idea working. I went home and attached the clips to one of the smaller chains and hooked it to my nipples and lay down on my bed. To try it for the first time. Success! One hand tugging on the chain to stimulate both nipples while my other hand tugging on my cock. It was amazing. My nipples were so horny my cock rock hard dripping with precum. The harder I pulled the chain the better it felt. It hurt so good. I couldn’t believe how good. I had never felt pleasure from pain like this before. This was something new for me and I was loving it, I didn’t want it to stop but I couldn’t hold back, the cum shot out of my cock spurting all over my stomach and chest. There was so much cum! The orgasm was so intense. My cock was throbbing like crazy I could feel it in my asshole. I had just had the best wank I’d ever had. (For now)

 

A couple of days later I thought I’d go for round 2 but this time I was going to have one of those stand-up wanks in front of the mirror, so I got the large chain I’d bought, thinking it might have a bit of weight to it, hopping that gravity might help me out a bit. The chain felt fairly heavy, and it was quite long. So, I wasn’t sure how this would go. After I got myself all revved up and my cock was hard, it was time for the nipple action. I hooked up to my nipple rings, the weight wasn’t too bad, but the chain was too long and hung down near my cock n balls and was kind of in the way. As I was jerking off my hand would hit the chain, which just wasn’t going to work. I don’t know why but I tried to looped the chain around the base of my shaft and gave a few more jerks, it felt good and a little kinky, as the chain lifted up and down with my strokes it kind of tugged at my nipples but still wasn’t what I was hoping for, so I unlooped the chain from around my shaft.

I had my head down and was slightly hunched over when I was unlooping the chain and noticed the lowest point of the chain was level with my crouch, so I was like, Hmm, I wonder if I can hooked it under and behind my balls, so I did,  then lifted my head up to look in the mirror. OH MY GOD!!! As I lifted my head, my back straightened, and the chain tightened and pulled on my nipples. It was fucking amazing! it was perfect! I had just invented a hands fee nipple tugging device! All I had to do was lean back or forward slightly to control the intensity of pleasurable pain to my nipples. I couldn’t believe how good it worked. I stood there watching myself, stroking my hot cock (I do love the look of my 6in cut my cock) seeing the chain pulling and stretching at my nipples really turned me on, I was so hard, my cock was leaking so much, and now I had a spare hand so I wiped up a nice big wad of precum onto my finger so I could lick and suck it off like it was the tip of a dick. God taste good, I love the tase of my precum it makes me want to suck a cock.

The more I jerked off, the more pressure the chain pulled at my nipples. The more I leaked, the more I tasted myself. Then I exploded, jiz shot onto the mirror then again and again, fuck me it was amazing, you would have thought something so simple could make you feel so good, beyond good, orgasmic!!

My new hands-free nipple tugging/pulling device also works laying down in bed, the more I arch my back the more it pulls, I can watch porn on my phone with one hand and jerk off with the other hand while the chain pulls on my horny nipples. This has definitely taken my self-pleasure to a whole new level I never imagined existed. 

Watch you spurt

 

Watch you spurt  (poem)



Get your cock out

Let me see 

I really want to touch it 

Get your cock out

For me please 

I really want to suck it

Cup my hand around your balls

Roll my tongue around your knob

Gently suck the tip of your cock

And slowly swallowing the head

Slide your shaft in my mouth 

Sucking as I bob

Suck and stroke your throbbing cock

I want to make you cum

I want to watch your spurting cum

Shooting out your cock

I want to watch you spurt your cum

So I can rub it on my cock

I want to watch you squirt your cum

I want it on my nipples 

I want to watch you squirt your cum

So I can lick the dribbles 

I want your hot cum everywhere 

On my cock my tits & chests 

I want your hot cum everywhere 

It really is the best 

5 guys

 

5 guys 


I would love to have a gang bang with 5 other guys, all with similar dicks, all circumcised and around 6 to 7 inches long. (Like mine). I can imagine being down on my knees while they all stand around me with all their cocks in my face, me trying to suck and jerk on all their dicks, getting them all nice and hard. 

I want to have a cock in each hand while I suck on another, then suck on the one I had in my hand and jerk on the one I was sucking, going from cock-to-cock sucking and jerking, even trying to get 2 dicks in my mouth.

I imagine getting on all fours on a small bench or coffee table while they all take turns in gently sliding their spit-soaked cocks in my horny ass, while I keep my mouth and hands full of juicy hard dick! I’ve always wanted to try having 2 cocks in my ass at the same time.

I want to feel them moving in opposite directions to each other, one going in my ass while the other is pulling outward, but not all the way out. Just leaving the head of the cock inside me then they both change directions, one moving out while the other is moving back in. (fuck yeah)

I want to know what that feels like, the thought of 2 cocks in my ass moving in opposite directions, feeling them getting quicker with each passing while I’m trying to suck and jerk off the other 3 cocks in my face, gets my cock hard.

My cock would be so hard and dripping with so much juice. I have no doubt with 3 dicks to suck on and my ass experiencing 2 cocks would send me over the edge and make me shoot my load. Making my ass pulsatingly clench the 2 hot cocks fucking my ass.

But when I cum I want the 3 cocks I’m sucking and jerking off to cum at the same time. Shooting their hot jis all over my face and chest. I want to keep sucking, tasting all of their juices. I want to rub their cum all over my face, tits and cock. Hopefully my pulsating asshole makes the 2 cocks in my ass want to cum. I would quickly jump off their dicks, spin around and jerk their jis onto my dick, watching it get soaked in hot cum and rubbing it in to my cock.

 I could imagine how awesome my stretched ass would feel, throbbing from such delight and me covered in 5 guys cum.

So now I can’t help imagining all of us having a shower afterwards and me rubbing soap on 5 guys and their cocks and them starting to get hard again and now I’m back on my knees……. Oh jeez here I go again. 

(yes, I did jerk off and cum while writing this one)

 

You know what (poem)

You know what makes me horny

What makes my soft cock rise

It’s not the thought of pussy

It’s the thought of fucking guys 

The thought of sucking dick

To watch them shoot their cum

The thought of big hard dicks

Gently sliding in my bum

Yes, that’s what makes me horny

It might come as a shock

That what I really want

Is to suck and fuck big cocks

Gentle Pinch

 

Gentle pinch (poem)

Gently pinch my nipples 

And give a little twist 

I get so fucking horny

The feeling is just bliss

It makes my cock so hard 

Pre cum starts to drip

I really love the taste 

As I put some on my lip

I’d lick it from my cock

If I could reach my knob

Even just the thought 

Makes my hard cock throb

I pinch a little harder 

That line of good and hurt

The feeling to intense 

As I watch my hot cum spurt.